happeninqs: my boyfriend called me fat, so I ate him
nintooner: in PE we had to write assertive responses to pressuring statements when you don’t want to have sex with somebody and I’m sorry
What did the toy store sign say?
laugh-addict: Don’t feed the animals. They are already stuffed.
Some people in my school just need a hug.
laugh-addict: Around their necks. With my hands.
ebuddies: a series of unfortunate eyebrows
castielandhishunters: calumon: my school’s “rival school” is on lockdown right now bc someone put weed in the vents so everyones slowly getting high oh my godd I guess now you could call it a high school
asap-tran: really-shit: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you. fuck
bidenette: it was the besta bynes it was the worsta bynes
the-winchester-initiative: cryonetics: snorlaxatives: *sexually strokes wall until finding light switch* What a turn on. Get out.
cancune: if a guy stares at ur boobs just stare at his dick maybe squint a little bit
smhexy: Me no study Me no care Me go marry A millionare If he die Me no cry Me go marry Another guy
grrrlfever: if ur secretly in love with me u should tell me not because those feelings might be reciprocated but because its really good for my ego
If I'm in a relationship with you, I promise
To always put you in front of all the other girls/boys. To put in a lot of effort into our relationship To show you off to all my friends & brag about you. To care for you. To always talk to you. To never cheat on you. To stay loyal and honest. To be there for you. To share cute memories with you. To make other people jealous of us. To always try my best to make you smile. To...
apatheticghost: my dad just yelled “IT SOUNDS LIKE YOURE MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A BOY IN THERE”
graffeti: my grandma is angry at my grandpa because when they went to the doctor’s the lady asked what he was allergic to and he said his wife
thatfunnyblog: oh my god you guys Cole Sprouse has an instagram but for the purpose of taking pictures of people trying to take pictures of him Funny Stuff you like?